In days of old,
when property was gold,
and the internet was not invented.
Auctions i am told,
Was how property was sold,
and property owners tormented.
Vendors were benders,
We can organise lenders,
This an agent did speak.
Whilst buyers are liars,
We would put out our flyers,
Telling how good we are, each week.
Newspaper advertising works,
They provide rebates and perks,
The owner did not know any better.
With big spreads off the shelf,
We promoted ourself,
As the vendor became a debtor.
Now the internet looms,
Amidst property busts and booms,
It still won’t make a difference.
I will use the old techniques,
With just a few tweaks,
My strength is my belligerence.
I have worked in this industry,
25 years is my longevity,
I’ll say what ever i need.
To sell your house - roll the dice,
I can’t guarantee price,
But commissions will satisfy greed.
Now private sellers are appearing,
It’s kind of endearing,
But they can’t negotiate like me.
Cause after 25 years,
Extracting money for my career,
I’m the best they can see.
So if you are buying or selling,
Land or a dwelling,
I’m the one you crave.
So regardless what you read,
I’m the agent you need,
Ignore the thousands of dollars you could save.
Don’t be silly i say,
Did you see my ad the other day,
It shows you just how much i have sold.
But really i must go,
Open homes i have to show,
New buyers who need to be told.
Forget all the rest,
I am the best,
I’m the agent from days of old.
You all know who i am
I’m the master conman
I’m the agent from days of old.
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